im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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