Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
These tits shall not be calmed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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