sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
