Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
