she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
