I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm too high and old for this...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
