You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he told me I talked like a deaf person
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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