I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
