dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
