I think my fart just growled at me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
