Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
