Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
