New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
