Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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