He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
