she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
