idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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