She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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