maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
