Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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