I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize