What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
