i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Randomize
