Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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