11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
