...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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