Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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