Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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