don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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