can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
