I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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