Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
