How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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