Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
