How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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