I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I need a burrito and a hug.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
