she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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