Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
