I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize