O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
