Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
