theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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