video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
