when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
