pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
