Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my liver is dry heaving
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
