your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
