just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
