Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
