I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
