Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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