Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
