I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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