y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
