she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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