so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
