I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
