We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Sorry my hands just texted you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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