Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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