Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
