youre lurking in front of me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
