He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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