maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
