hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
