saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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