i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The feeling are messing with the penis
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
