I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
