You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My first STD was from a foam party
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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