Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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